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A Letter To A Lawyer That You Absolutely Have To Hear


Read the letter. I am sure you have guessed by now I sent a response to this idiot, Frederick M. Kaye. Enjoy it.

January 13, 2016

TO: Frederick M. Kaye, Law Office
Ste. 400-A
6285 Northam Dr.
Mississauga, Ontario L4V 1X5
Phone: 905-673-2381
Fax: 855-868-2602
Email: fkaye@kayelaw.ca

From: Kevin J. Johnston
6975 Meadowvale Town Centre Circle, Suite 404
Mississauga, ON L5N 2V7

Dear Fred,

My previous landlord emailed me a letter you sent about National Credit Recovery Inc. and some crap about me owning Rogers Communications Inc. $2137.20.

What the fuck could Rogers possibly be selling for that price?

You send me a demand for money with…

・ No Invoice
・ No Purchase Order Number
・ No Copies of Contract(s)
・ No Itemization of the Amount Requested
・ No Signatures

Next my dear idiot, you are making some claim that I must pay you within 7 days by cheque or money order. You also want that cheque mailed to some saturated cum bubble at 6285 Northam Drive, Suite 400, Mississauga, Ontario L4V 1X5. Sure, no problem mate, would you like fries and a box of condoms with that? Would a cheque post-dated to July 3rd, 2045 be OK? If so, I can at least guarantee in this case that you’ll have a cheque. I can also guarantee that your penis size and girth are inadequate to satisfy even the most androgynous gnat. What kind of goat-raping, moose-blowing, pathetic consumer of fried mouse feces sends random letters to people demanding money in the name of two companies that they don’t own, while demanding payment within seven days, and like a retarded chronic-masturbating, gender confused in-patient at the local sanitarium, sends a 1-week deadline out via regular mail?

Is this your first day? Is this your first letter to another human being or a failed comedy routine that caused you to take not one, but 6 beer bottles in the head on stage?

One more thing asswipe, you spelled my name wrong and sent it out to wrong address. Do you not do your research before you try and intimidate people?

Please let both your clients know that they can lick my balls.

Happy New Year by the way,

Kevin J. Johnston